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5 Sex Toys That'll Give You A Valentine's Day To Remember

Whether you celebrate Valentine's Day or not (yes, we know it's a Hallmark holiday) there's no disputing the fact that, at the very least February 14 is as good a time as any to feel the lurve.

And, hey, that includes self-love; the way we see it, you can either drop a couple hundred bucks on dinner-for-two or you can invest in something really ~special~ that you'll both get a kick out of.

So here's to the single girls, the single guys and the loved-up and loving it: You're so, SO welcome.

For the couple doing long-distance

We-Vibe Nova USB Rechargeable G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator, $209.95

In possibly THE best use of technology we've ever heard of, the We-Vibe Nova is not only a fantastic vibrator, it also connects to a nifty little smartphone app via Bluetooth, giving your other half the pleasure of controlling YOUR pleasure - from absolutely anywhere in the world. 

The toy is specially designed to make sure you're hitting all the right spots to offer "strong and consistent stimulation" and with 10 different vibration modes, it'll come in handy no matter the ~mood~.

It IS a little on the exxy side, but you won't have to fork out of batteries and think of the cost per use! Mere pennies.


Fifty Shades Of Grey Keep Still Over The Bed Cross Restraint, $89.95


Unleash your inner Christian Grey/ Ana Steele with a slick AF bondage kit that'll take the stress out of ramping up the kink.

Even though this across-the-bed restraint kit LOOKS complicated, the set-up is fairly straight-forward; all you have to do is place the black straps in a diagonal "X" over your bed, feed the grey straps around the head and foot of your mattress, push through the rings and pull tight.

This particular bondage kit allows your ankles and wrists to be positioned vertically OR horizontally, too, just to really mix things up.

Maybe agree on a safe word beforehand, though, yeah?

For the girls celebrating alone

Womanizer W500 USB Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator, $294.95

Pretty sure all you need to know about this one is that it is hailed as the "bringer of the three-minute orgasm."

Can we just... Take a minute? Or three.

It's an international best-seller (why are we not surprised) and works by applying gentle suction to the clitoris without actually touching it thanks to its "fluttering" head.

Again, it's rechargeable via USB and has eight varying speeds.

They really do think of everything these days. 

For the guys celebrating alone

CyberSkin Twerking Butt Deluxe Sex Machine, $720

All's fair in love and sex toys, so it's high time the boys get a look in. 

THIS little beauty takes fleshlights to a whole new level with a surprisingly realistic appearance, self-heating twin canals and six varying speeds of massage and vibration.

Also, it twerks. To the music of your choice. What more could you possibly want?

Yes, it's expensive but man are you getting bang for your buck.

For making playtime fun again

I Rub My Duckie (Travel Size) Massager Vibrator, $27.95


Yes it's silly and yes we don't know how you'd actually feel getting busy with, um, a rubber duckie but hey, we couldn't resist.

The "I Rub My Duckie" toy is a "perfectly proportioned" travel-sized vibrator that you can legitimately leave in the bathroom of a share house without raising any suspicions as to what that cheerful, rubber duck smile is really hiding.

There's definitely a joke here about getting dirty in the bathtub but we just can't quite put our fingers on it...


Happy Valentine's Day!

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