Smart Condom Can Track Bedroom Performance & Upload Online
A company called i.Con has answered every man's burning question of whether or not they're 'doing sex good', or not.
They've created a 'Smart Condom', which, as said by Maxim, is basically a "Fitbit for your dick", and we couldn't have put it better ourselves.
If you've ever desired to get all analytical while you're in the sack, then this is this gizmo for you! It'll track data such as:
- The number of calories you burn during sex, because we're all just doing it for a workout, right?
- The speed of your thrusts, so you can boast to your mates about your fastest thrust, of course.
- Total number of thrusts, this one most of us would probably like to keep secret.
- Total duration of sessions, again, this is noones business.
- Frequency of sessions, this is getting a little invasive.
- Average velocity of thrusts, woah, that actually sounds painful.
- The temperature of your dick, because... WTF!?!
- Your girth, ok that's enough!
Oh, all of this information gets uploaded to the internet too, because we all know that's a safe place that never gets hacked.
If you're the type of person that's excited about his sort of thing and can't wait to know the velocity of your thrusts and the temperature of your cock, you can preorder a Smart Condom for $73. Totally money well spent. And then you can make a graph from the data, or something.