By Ryan Atkins
Let’s be real, if you’re planning to get a date by sliding into someone’s DM’s with a solitary “hey” … you may as well delete your Tinder, Bumble, Grindr – whatever – then dropkick your phone into the Parramatta river.
YAWN! How vanilla.
These days you have to STAND OUT, which inspired Mike E & Emma to take your calls on the most unusual pickup lines you’ve heard. This list could be what us desperate singles urgently need…
“F*ck you. You look like a bitch”
This strangely worked for one of Mike E’s friends – like ACTUALLY worked – I mean… it sends shivers down poor old Prince Charming’s spine, which is exactly why it could be the perfect line to catch someone’s attention. It’s going to get a reaction either way…
“Hey, what’s your second favourite song?”
…because asking about their number one song is SO BASIC (and obviously the answer is going to be ‘Don’t Start Now’ by Dua Lipa – absolute banger).
“We could never date – my Mum’s/Dad’s name is [insert their name here]”
Time to brainstorm a nickname together… AND QUICK!
“What’s your favourite Dinosaur?”
Emma’s husband Enzo used this one on her… and it was a hit! If you can’t think of any dinosaurs, just throw in the name of a politician or something.
“I like the dress you’re wearing; it would look better on my bedroom floor”
Confident? Creepy? Complete disregard for interior design? This one has it all!
“Hey I heard you’re looking for a stud… I’ve already got an STD, now all I need is U”
If someone starts filling your stomach with butterflies it might be time to put on your ‘shock jock’ cap and use this cheeky line. In the case of a literal tingling sensation though: go see a doctor. Get checked folks.
“You’re much prettier with your mouth closed”
This one walks a fine line between suggesting cutting to the chase or advising a visit to the dentist. Either way, we should all be going to dentist more than we go – so it’s worth the risk of misinterpretation.
“Let’s play a game: two truths, one lie. If I pick the lie, we get to go on a date”
Who doesn’t love a little guessing game? Let’s just hope they’re not strangely good at lying.
“You’re a 6… but if you smiled, you’d be a 7”
No one wants to date Mr. & Mrs. Goody Two Shoes. It might be time to use a tactic that’s as old as the teeth you’re complimenting: treat them mean, keep them keen.
“I used to root your mate [insert name], she rates me… go ask him/her.
Lastly, the best way to flirt it to find similar interests, right?